10 of Cups
close up from “Chosen Family” original available
Here is the ephemeral happy ending card! Lately a concept has been popping up like a wack-a-mole: the idea that we have many possible lives but ultimately the best one, or the most useful one to our spirit, is the one chosen for us (“by whom?” You ask, and I shrug). At the beginning of life there are so many possible ‘yous’ but by your death there is only the one self you have grown and lived into being. No matter what life we end up with there will be some hard times sprinkled in. I imagine it's like our car's GPS saying to us “you are on the best possible route despite heavier than usual traffic”. That's how the roller coaster has been lately, lots of queasy loop-d-loos, some long congested sitting on the highway barely moving. But now the road has opened up and this life seems a good one, a blessed one, well chosen for me. Snapshot: I’m cruising along, with my partner and sons, driving our eldest from California to New York for grad school, singing loudly together. Snapshot: I'm riding bikes out to the island with our good friends, our chosen family, easing the empty nesting sadness. Snapshot: the whole family stands on the shore looking out over the water at a rainbow. Do I see ten cups arching through the colors? Snapshot: a happy ‘ending’ in a moment, the ocean wave crests and spills and pulls back and then the cycle begins again.
Researching the ten of cups tarot was interesting. Pamela Smiths depiction of the nuclear family on the shore, children playing in the sand, SIS parents holding hands, seems to set tarot folks teeth on edge. My go-to for tarot insight podcast hosts seemed miffed at the idea that the so-called ‘happy ending’ card portrays this limited notion of family. Yet many artists choose to copy their version of this same SIS image in their art decks. I thought perhaps I might as well, but with animal heads of course. They wouldn’t have been a family though- but chosen family, with mismatched animal heads. I probably should have painted this, since my ultimate ‘ripple’ idea that I depicted was rather complex, but then, isn’t family? Mine certainly is. I have quite a few siblings. Dad was married 7 times and mom 3 times. I have one full brother, a couple half siblings, and many, many step sisters. What is a grouping of step-sisters? A Cinderella of step-sisters? A cesspool of step-sisters? A staircase of step-sisters? Some of them I love, and some I barely know. I get to pick and choose. I have friends who are like family. Don't most of us these days? I have poly friends whose weddings made me cry with the joy of visible love , its grouping redefined. I think this card isn’t only about the nuclear family anymore but the people we surround ourselves with; the special moments we have with our families and chosen families. It's about creating a community that gives you emotional fulfillment.
Instead of an animal headed family, in the end I decided to paint a family that stands together in the ever-changing river. Each person's ripples casts its energy out towards the others, an exchange, a ripple effect. What is this phenomenon? Oh man, one can spend hours learning about fluid dynamics! “At the heart of every ripple lies a disturbance. When a pebble disrupts the smooth surface of a pond, it transfers energy to the water molecules around it. These excited molecules then nudge their neighbors, creating a domino effect that propagates outward as a wave. This wave, characterized by alternating peaks and troughs, is the ripple we see”.
(From Medium article 222. The Ripple Effect: Unveiling the Science Behind a Universal Phenomenon)
Each of our actions can potentially have far reaching effects: the sound waves of ‘I trust you’, the light waves bouncing off a painting back to the viewers eyes and mind, or waves of emotion as you watch your children play. I always hope I am not painting this 7 year long tarot project only for myself. I want it to ripple out, to help my family and friends, and from there go to community and beyond. That's my dream. Electrons can behave like waves of possibility. Again, the possibilities, probabilities of all the peaks and troughs, the intersection with others ripples, the turns on the road, all the possible selves, all the choices for all the happy ending moments with the people we love. We choose each one and then the ‘disturbance’ is done, the ripple is cast.
Of course this card is also an emotional completion. When I was a teen I used water as a symbol in my art. It was free and pouring down my back, contained in a tea cup, or trapped in a lidded jar. Each made sense to me. Did I know it depicted emotion? My family of feet, with their various ages, genders, and skin tones, stands in the river. I think of the famous saying, "You cannot step into the same river twice." Are you also curious about this phrase's origins? I looked it up. The saying comes from the ancient Greek philosopher Heraclitus, who lived around 500 BCE in the city of Ephesus. Honestly we don’t know exactly what he said. In that Jesus way, it was his disciples that wrote down his rantings. He is remembered for teaching that reality is in constant change—that nothing remains exactly as it was. We think that the river is always in flux, the water you step into, the ripples you cast out, are ever changing. But we grow and flow, learn and shift direction. People we love die or move on or come into our lives. We too are always changing, and it is not only the river that is different each and every time we step into it. So I am reminded by the ten of cups to be aware of and to hold on to this precious time, to BE in this moment of stilled possibilities with the people you love.
In this stilled possibility, ((O)) The moment my love falls (((O))) As a pebble into the water, (((O))))I cast out ripples to you, My chosen family. Even as the fickle river Flows around our ankles, off on some journey, We too are different, changing. ((O)) But in this ephemeral 'now', this dance across the surface tension, reaching through this fluid skin, This happily ever after moment, I am here with you. -O-
