Up Against The Wall
Every blade is a choice not chosen. Up against the wall you are frozen. Who threw those knives at you? Did you stand yourself against the wall? Did you bind your mind? In the darkness of your blindfold are you lost or can you then see your light within? Be patient. Be resilient.Then make a choice.
I was waiting eagerly to pull this card. No, seriously, it's true! I have a tendency to get lost in the details- Im sure you noticed...to fret over minor annoyances or overthink EVERYTHING or use too much force for small problems. Sigh...well. I mean I didnt want this card to flip up and remind me to be patient. No, I wanted to paint the image that came into my head months ago the first time I pulled the eight of swords. Sometimes its like that- a sudden clear picture. In this case it was the knife throwers assistant. It felt right. I honestly don't get that feeling so often- part of why I'm doing this, you know. The second time around, pulling this card I was struggling with not wanting to paint another card (the four of coins), waiting for a big commission to come through and wondering how often I should harass them about paying me, waiting to call two other people who had asked me to do work, avoiding drawing something I wasn't inspired to draw, etc...all these little swords pinning me in place. I realize this card can be indicative of abuse, of being stuck somewhere really dark. Had I put on my own blindfold? Maybe I had even stuck in a few of those knives. Would I find my light within while I waited blindly? TBD! My 'choice' was to paint this card while I wait. Her left foot in the mud comes from Rider-Waite-Smiths deck. Right foot on the land. Does it make you think of the Star? My 8 of swords is not bound…or IS she. She is wearing a corset and her hair is subtly the lacing. Did she wind her own hair through? The figure was copied from a painting by Paul Delaroche, the Ejecución de Lady Jane Grey. She is up against a manor house. It maybe her house that she is bound too, as all us mothers and partners are bound. But her house is just a cardboard backdrop. She could just step away…back onto her path.
